The Bug (Orig posted in 2006)

Caitlin, Mark and I were playing aggravation this weekend. Didn't have alot of time before i had to go to work. Mark had initially won, sitting there carrying on a conversation with us while he waited patiently for us to wrap it up.

Caitlin was beating me, as usual. She had three of her men home and came around the last corner for a clear run to win second place. I came around after her and sent her back to start, which is when she started tearing up, sulking, and telling me how unfair it is that she has to live the hard life that she has to live.

"Caitlin, it is only a game. Suck it up, Dude." I will stop now and thank Melissa for that one. "This is not how we act when we play games. Sometimes you win, sometimes someone else wins. Sometimes you are the windshield, sometimes you are the bug."

"A bug??" Her big blue eyes looking over at me with tears hanging on her lashes.

"Yes, a bug! A wasp, bee, fly, gnat, spider... a bug!"

She wiped her eyes and grabbed her dice. "Ok, Mom."

We played another few rounds before I swung around my corner and landed my last man safely into home and won second place.

Caitlin immediately slammed her hand down on the table and said "Oh!!! I am the BUG!!!" and preceeded to cry.

Mark, in the meantime, is sitting across the table laughing his butt off as our dear child had her heart broken into a million pieces and sat on my lap as i had to comfort the caterpillor with her sticky hands all over me.

The bug!

I have written this first post several times. It has been hard to decide where to start. I have a lot to say, a lot to talk about, and I finally decided that I wouldn't over load all at once. My name is Helen. I was born in Texas, my elementary years I lived in California and then moved back to Texas in middle school. I spent the following years there until 2002, when we moved to Utah. I wasn't happy living in Texas, mostly because I didn't want to raise my kids there. I love to visit Texas, I just don't like the heat and I can't stand the traffic. And honestly, between the stickers, chiggers, fire ants and water bugs (aka flying roaches) I have no desire to ever live there again. 

Moving to Utah was an adjustment. Moving 1500 miles away from any family member we knew was also an adjustment. Good and bad. It brought my husband and I closer and I actually believe it made our marriage work. It forced us to communicate and lean on each other because there wasn't a place to run and hide when you don't have any family around. You also don't get the meddling, even with the most positive intentions, and you don't get other people's influence on what you should and shouldn't do. For the first time, I felt like a grown up and I felt like I was married.

And this is what made me fall in love with Utah. It has its ups and downs. I love the snow. I don't like falling in the snow. I love the mountains. I don't like the thin air. I love the dry heat. I don't like the month below freezing that we normally get every winter. I love how conservative it is here. I hate how conservative it is here. So I have a love/hate relationship with Utah. Just as I do with Texas and California. And we will talk about that in the future.

We recently moved, I was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, we have two kids with Autism and my husband travels. (Take a breath, let that sink in.) We also have two chihuahuas, Lucy and Ricky, and a cat named Princess. I also have chosen for my children to go to a virtual charter school on line. (I know, I am crazy, right?) 

Now that being said, I love my life most of the time. I am blessed to be in a wonderful marriage with a wonderful husband. And I have two very awesome kids. 

I am leaving you with a very old story from my old blog that I took down in order to create and write in this one. Thanks for taking the time to drop by and get to know me a little. 

      "Caitlin had her first gymnastics class. I think she did really well. I didn't tell her i was taking her until right before i went to bed. Figured it would give her something to look forward to for the next few hours. When i got up, i was greeted by a bouncing child who acted alot like Tigger. She was yelling out "Mom! We get to go to mistakes!" She is still working on her words. HA!

She fit right in, eagerly waiting for instructions on what to do and how to do it. She really enjoyed learning how to do a cart wheel and how to do a hand stand. But it was the trampoline that got me, where I let out a small scream that, i think, frightened the other mother in the room.

I think it would be better for Caitlin if i didn't watch. I know now that i am going to be that one mom who runs out onto the field and throws her body inbetween her child and the blood sucking, rambo type, slobbering brut they claim is a small child.

I just didn't know parenting would be this hard."